2002-02-24 - 11:04 p.m.
I don't really remember what I wrote about last time and frank;y I am way too tired to look and check. Thursday my purse went missing. I had a panic attack I was freaking out so very much. Jenn A. was amazing she kept me from completely breaking down and helped me make flyers and hang them up and she is just wonderful. Anyway I cancelled my cards and my parents sent me keys. So THEN I have no way to get home because my keys were in my purse so I couldnt drive home. So I went into the library to see if anyone with a car was online. I asked Alex to drive me back because I was stressed and freaking out and panacking, he said " Well I'm meeting Diana for dinner and then I have to work out but if you are in CSPAC it's only a 15 minute walk to courtyards" yes I fucking know it's only a fucking 15 minute walk but when I was as stressed and freaked out as I was I wasnt looking to walk I was fucking drained and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. No to mention that Di is my friend and would have TOTALLY understood if he were late and I wont even get into how shitty saying working out was more importaint that doing me a fucking favor is. Thank god Miki was online that girl is an angel of mercy and drove me home and I love her and will so totally miss her nexy year (stay miki stay) So anyway THANK GOD I got a call that this guy's wife found my bag and they lived like 2 minutes away renee drove me over and I got my bag and I proceded to get trashed to celebrate. What a bad bad bad bad BAD idea. I made a margarita, with like a cup of tequilla, then I had a shot of malibu, 2 shots of 99 blackberries, I spilt a shot of blue curacau on myself, and tried some nasty ass italian grappa(blegh). Anyway I was trashed, Spoales and her friend Justine came over and we watched Boogie Nights...well parts of it...unfortunatly I had my cell phone on me... I was VERY VERY VERY drunk and made calls. I dont remember all of the calls I made but I called John, and talked about nothing much he's a great kid. I called Eric, and made a drunk fool of myself, I called Greg but I dont actually remember what I said to him, apparently I called Rosa several times...dont remember that, I supposedly called Lizzy dont remember that, I thiiiiiiiiiink I called Mori I'm not really sure, I think i mazybe called greenwald but im not really sure about that at all, but the best was I called Ted, I called ted while I was piss ass drunk, not only that I called ted while I was piss ass drunk and told him I was infatuated with him, I am a fucking jackass is what I am. He was really cool about it though he was just like maybe we should talk when you are sober, of course this is the conversation I remember I dont know what else the fuck i may have saidthen...damn. Anyway being as that I dont remember much of thursday I c ant talk much more about it. Friday I pretty much spent most of my time feeling like a jackass. Oh and I went to the dentist the wisdom teeth DO have to come out. I have an appointment for friday but i need to change it because there is a chorale concert sunday and I wont be able to sing, I'll take to Maclary tomorrow. Saturday, I didnt really go anything interesting. Didnt talk to ted till I was getting changed to head over to Becca's before the Delta Sig party. But i was going to the party so I couldnt go over to annapolis to talk. I love the outfit i wore to the party, I love my vinyl pants so very much, and Becca straightened my hair, i felt hot, and I really never ever ever ever ever do. Anyway we got there beads and shit woo whatever, I wasnt about to get naked or anything so i let some guys slap my ass for beads because seriously it's my fucking ass I dont give a shit that;s the whole point of the party. ok Today I went to Pirates of Penzance, really good production, but we got there like a half hour early so Ro and I went over to the drydock while joe changed, I gave ted a call to see if he were in his room to talk a bit before the show but he didnt answer. I walk INTO drydock and guess who was sitting right there. So we talked a bit, I am so bad and putting sentences togeather and not sounding like a complete moron, but basically he was like I don;t want to start anything now and I'm so stressed out now anyway and dont want to think about the other stuff. or some such. and you know what I knew that is what he was going to say but I kinda needed to say how I felt for the slim chance that he WAS interested in me. Which would have been nice because he is such a great guy, but I am so so so glad that he is my friend and I'm glad I do have him as a friend and I hope he finds someone because he deserves it. Blah now I am sappy and gross ick bad jenn
anyway Im going to bed now because I am tired.
night
love
me
